6 inconspicuous things jealous people do !!

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You find these people everywhere. Just when you thought you had a great companion, colleague or a friend they get you with a teaspoon of a comment that hints of ‘jealousy’. No you cannot avoid them and you have to react to their comments with a feigned smile. But there is something I tell you about the curious case of ‘uncomfortable with your success’ people; seldom do they realise that people understand what they are trying to do. Sometimes they do it unknowingly that is when you have to take these people just as an entertainment value. Read on if you are around one of the below:

 

  1. They will subtly ‘one-up’ your story- Whether it is the new deal you got at the restaurant or the course you are taking at the university, these people will always have something better to add to that. It is beyond them to just listen to someone else’s good story, they always find a way to add their own.
  2. They don’t acknowledge you- If you have put a happy story on facebook, it is very rare that J people will not notice it. Probably they have seen it 100 times and googled your story twice. But they will behave as if they have not had the time to see your update.
  3. Disqualify your achievement-  People find excuses to settle with their own failures. Some of them belittle your achievement by saying ‘I have seen so many people doing that, it hasn’t worked for them’ !!! And boy they can give you real statistics proving that.
  4. They make you feel guilty- So think you take up a special course at that community college leaving your kid behind, the ‘J’ kinds will always mention the trade off. They will tell you how inacceptable it is for them to leave their kid around for an upgrade. They will always make you feel bad about how you are missing out on social life by just following your heart and taking up that course.
  5. They overcompensate-This is when they know that they are jealous and they try to camouflage it by being overly happy about your achievement.
  6. Give you backhanded compliments-So you bought this dress online and your friend mentions ‘Isn’t it funny that this dress looks good on you but when put it on..I look tacky”. You got the point!

Fear Factor and Network Marketing

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It is said that we were born with only 2 fears-fear of falling and fear of loud noise.By the time we hit our teens we have developed around 4000 fears.It is strange but true that every time we say ‘No’, most of them are generated with an innate fear of either being fooled;being vulnerable;being carried away;of loosing. Our first instinct is to say ‘No’ not because we have a reason but because we have made some fear a part of our DNA and will be passing it onto our scions. How have we crossed these several years day in and day out pregnant with several fears hovering us?As if fear can change the future.But I am sure not having a fear can change the future.

And now I come to network marketing.How much we hate people who reach on to us during our busy lunch hours at office with a catalog! As soon as we see a woman approaching with a glee in her eyes and a catalog in hand, we sprint towards our bathroom and pretend to give a short smile. It is astonishing that how much we hate consultants from a network marketing company but on the other hand we are spending our weekends subtly selling our thoughts, recommending products, giving advice, swearing by a certain esthetician or a mechanic. We never know our friends to whom we are recommending, selling, advising in such confidence might be mumbling ‘Here she goes again’, but because they do not have the option they listen to you and sometimes honor you too.If we do it ourselves why do we hate that woman or a couple who are trying to do just the same for some extra bucks?Here I am not talking about scam companies and  schemes;I am referring to legit network marketing companies.

We would rather run to the most expensive shops and buy stuff from there thinking that’s the real deal. Don’t you think we are fooling ourselves?Everyone in this world wants a piece of that paycheck in your pocket.Nothing wrong in it, you also work for money and this is how economy works.

Why are we so averse to Network Marketing? Is it because we are in fear of opening up to a person with a catalog in hand? Is it because we think that woman will get a commission?But so does the salesgirl at the shop.And so does everyone gets a piece of your paycheck whether its government, retail, your boss and in some cases you! Are you not recommending your colleagues on Linkedin or ask for a recommendation? Linkedin exists because it harps the prospects of network marketing;pear to pear recommendations and that is a legitimate approach.

Many argue that these network marketing consultants have no training then how can they recommend a product? Hear me out, are you trained to advice your friend but you go ahead nevertheless? And when do we listen to the trained consultants, even we have spoken to a financial advisers we always go by our instincts..then why the pretense of not buying from a network marketer just because they have tall claims and have less training?

Some of the great products I have is from network marketing companies and I will never go back to the retail for those specific products. Yes they are little pricey because there is normally a great deal of research that has gone in those products and they are niche’.But they will be the ones to give you more bang for the buck with goodies and discounts because they have eliminated the middle man. The truth is network marketing or Multi- Level Marketing (MLM) is a business model existing since 80 years, tried and tested. It has a catalog because they want to reach directly to the customers. They want to eliminate the overhead costs and the money they make from you as a customer hence redirecting it to the development of the product, therefore better quality for customers and higher compensation for consultants.

If you are a prospective customer then you better start warming up to these consultants because chances are that the way business will be conducted in future.Most of the business start ups now want to eliminate the overhead costs hence dissolving the wholesalers and retailers. So, open up and just don’t say ‘No’ out of a fear. Make sure you have valid reasons.

And if you are a consultant and a network marketer just don’t accept a ‘no’ and be afraid.Dare to ask ‘Why’?

Business is not just jargons, number cracking and predictions. There is a more humane way to do business and you want to ride that wave! Don’t forget everybody needs a human connection! Don’t operate out of fears, operate out of reasons.

Immigrant Faux Pas

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You have seen it; you have done it; I have seen it; I have done it; you have someone mention it and I have mentioned it. Yes! You are right, the awkward things we all have been a part of knowingly and unknowingly. As immigrants or friends to immigrants we all have been at that awkward position when we do not know what is normal and what is not? I wish someone had told me about these, when I was a fresh immigrant in Canada. Read on:

  1. Kissing is normal here but staring is not.
  2. Women do feed their babies in a public place, it’s considered normal and acceptable.
  3. Sex is still a taboo.
  4. Even if you do not know anyone, you still have to dress up well; it does speak volumes about your personality.
  5. It is not normal to burp and not say ‘excuse me’.
  6. Please do not make an accent and roll your ‘rrrrrr’.Anyone can make out you are faking it.
  7. Yes, people do notice the color of your teeth.
  8. The ‘F’ and ‘S’ word is not tolerable.
  9. Retirement homes are not because children don’t care about their parents; it’s just a way of life at that age here.
  10. Staying healthy is not a choice but a necessity as there is no help; to each his own.
  11. In summers it’s not called ‘skimpily dressed’, it’s called ‘appropriately dressed’.
  12. It is rude to ask salary package (as against to it being completely normal In India).
  13. It is OK to be honked at and honk in a situation of careless driving.
  14. Phrase ‘Good for you’ is not impolite. There is no hidden meaning in it.
  15. Gifts are only for special occasions.
  16. Perfumes are a problem sometimes.
  17. You have to ask before trying to hold a baby or pat a pet.
  18. Keeping and marking a calendar is not a pretense but is a requirement.
  19. It is standard to ask for what you deserve.
  20. ‘Name dropping’ is not needed.

Above all:

IT’S OK TO SAY YOU ARE AN IMMIGRANT, NEW TO THIS COUNTRY AND NEED HELP

Why does my work space work for me?

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photo courtsey: http://www.home-designing.com               (Its not my room)

It’s a place that is my mecca. It’s where none can question me; I am the undisputed queen; my no-judgment zone; where I can talk to Bill Gates without getting nervous. My workspace is basically my HOT TUB.

The walls are painted in white with the dark wood table and bookshelf juxtaposed against each other. The books are numerous and not at all arranged according to their subject. They look like colorful cigarettes in a pack. I have a small and simple lamp. Beside it is a small glass vase with blue glittering sand and white tuberose flowers in it. My seat overlooks a window where I can see people and observe them in their busiest times and at their leisure moments too. I have a whiteboard against my table, which has stood the test of time, it is full of my beautiful photographs, cards and even tickets to my first movie with my husband. My stationary is all over the place with colors, pens, pencils everywhere. The newspapers and scrapbook of my favorite articles always open. Now most important the picture on a big white wall that sticks alone and keeps me going every day that says ‘This too shall pass’. So, I keep in mind that life is like flowing like a river. When happy moments haven’t stayed then why sad moments will and this will pass. I look at it and then return to my coffee mug that says ‘Put on your invisible crown’.

This is one place that works for me because it makes me come to life again. I love it. Why does your work space work for you?

How to last your paycheque?

So, If you are reading this,that means you are already thinking about your finances.By finances I mean, you have already asked yourself questions like “Where is my money going?”;”Will I always live with this crunch?”. You better be serious as you never would come to know that when the mercury will rise and your financial status will start affecting your feeling of well-being. As a banker I have seen this happening to many singles and couples earning on both the extreme. The trap is easy-If you see $$$, you will spend it.I am not here to talk about the big dollar amounts, registered and non-registered RRSP accounts and ROI etc with those jargon rattling your mind.I believe in keeping it simple.Read on..

1. Get real -Yes, this tough but you know what is tougher? Its seeing your money disappear. Jot down all your expenses account;from Tim Horton Java cup to Walmart trips.Add every expense.It is like going on a guilt trip because you know you have over spent and somehow you just don’t want to look at it.That is OK, be nice to yourself.

2.Thats what I make– This is no guess work.You should know your after tax pay advice.And now start afresh. Just pick a pay week fresh and take that as your starting point.

3.Credit is not your money– Most people think that they have x $$$ to spend as credit.There are no free lunches.Keep Credit card only for booking travel tickets.

4.Grocery– Go with a list always and make way for one or two surprise purchases too.Not many of you must be knowing but companies pay a premium to retailers for keeping a certain product at a customers eye level.Always make sure you check the top and bottom most products as well,they are as good.Also, if you are fond of buying cosmetics and can’t control, just go for free samples that is available at most of the counters.
5.Piggy bank-Yes, and a transparent one. Any spare change that you get like pennies,cents,a dollar etc,straight away put in the transparent piggy bank.You will be surprised how that comes in handy.One of my clients saved $40 worth of coffee a week by digging in her piggy bank.Always carry that with you in car,it’s a handy purse for paying parking and coffee.Never forget to take a small portion from your paycheck, like $40-$30 biweekly for your ‘on the go’ expenses.
6.‘God only knows’ account– GOK account is just like a savings account where you put away a small fraction of your pay cheque and never look at that.I started putting $20 every pay cheque since 4 years now and ‘God only knows’ how much that account has.I have never taken out money from that account so I am sure it is helping me somewhere.
7. RRSP or TFSA – It is simple, if your company matches your RRSP contribution then start putting away some money,you can start away with as low as$50 every paycheque.If your company doesn’t match then you can open a tax free savings account, where you can put the same money away and you won’t be taxed on that particular amount. The whole idea of putting money away in RRSP or TFSA or GOK account is that, if you don’t see that money you will not miss it. Also, if your company believes in benefits then its always a good idea to exhaust all those benefits ,it’s like free money gone unnoticed.Some of the company offers discounts on some stores, tuition fees reimbursements, eco -pass for transits etc.Always rely on your HR website and before you go shopping do a little recce.This goes a long way.
8. Spoil yourself- Tight budgeting is like going on crash dieting,if you hold it too close to your heart,they may not work.So, set a time for yourself, that every 2 months or so you will spend a particular amount on yourself (say $200 if you earn from $30000 to $ 35000 for eg yearly).
9.Be At It – money will never grow on trees so you have to be at the job of visiting and revisiting your bank account every three days. Until you hit that jackpot, your only jackpot is your ‘paycheque’.
With these little things you are sure to see a positive amount howsoever little at the end of your paycheque and believe me,many people I know have saved upwards of$800 monthly by just staying mindful even at a meager salary of$20000 yearly. It’s worth a good try.
                                   Till then stay smart, stay true to your finances and stay that way!Image

Back

Yes, I am back after a long hiatus.Have been busy with my bank job and great things going on a personal level.The updates will pour in slowly. Since I have been working for a bank since long and now have seen hundreds of 30 somethings singles and couples struggle with their saving money issue,I think this is the right time for me to give my two cents on the ‘Saving money at the end of a pay cheque issue’.The points will be simple.They may or may not work for everyone, but certainly will give a general Idea.